To Repent For Their Misdeeds
In this week’s Torah portion, Parshat Vayigash, we find that Yosef (Joseph), who was sold by his brothers as a slave, eventually became the ruler of Mitzrayim (Egypt). A famine in the land of Canaan led the brothers to Mitzrayim, and they ended up meeting Yosef, but they did not recognize him, while Joseph recognized them. Yosef implemented a serious of interactions with his brothers to cause them to rethink their original decision to sell him, and to repent. Events reached a climax, and Yosef finally revealed his identity to them.
Quit the Blame Game and Move Forward!
Following this, Yosef sent his brothers back to their father and told them (Bereishit 45:24), “Don’t bicker on the way.” Rashi says that he was telling them not to bicker over whose fault it was that they had sold him. What was done was done, and there was nothing constructive to be achieved by discussing whose fault it was. The Netziv in Ha’emek Davar adds that, included in Rashi’s interpretation, is that they shouldn’t become absorbed with anguish over what they had done. Yosef was giving them an important message: Yes, they recognized that they made a mistake. An extremely terrible mistake. But now, it’s time to move forward. Instead of rehashing the old, focus on the future.
The message Yosef gave his brothers is a lesson for us as well. We, too, make mistakes in life, and we often have the urge to argue with others about whose fault it is. In addition, many times we know there is no one else to blame, and we start beating ourselves up over our own mistakes. Not only should we not bicker with others, we shouldn’t bicker with ourselves about that past either. Our focus should be on improving the future, not rehashing the past.
Be Happy with Your Spiritual Accomplishments
The book Menuchah Ukedushah (Gate of Torah, part 2 chapter 23) writes a fascinating concept, in the name of the Vilna Gaon. Our Sages tell us (Avot 4:1) that one should be content with his lot in life. The Vilna Gaon says that this applies even to spiritual accomplishments. While a person should always strive for more, at the same time he should be happy with everything he managed to accomplish thus far. Instead of dwelling on our shortcomings and our mistakes, we should focus on the positive things we achieve, and feel happy about them.
Rabbi Yechezkel Levenstein (Ohr Yechezkel, Vol. 7 page 384) stresses the importance of being happy with your spiritual level and accomplishments. When a person feels dissatisfied with himself, even for doing the wrong thing, it discourages a person from serving God. Even worse, when one dwells on feelings of guilt, it could lead to feelings of resentment towards Torah and mitzvot (Torah commandments). Therefore, a person has to always feel happy with his spiritual lot and focus on accomplishing more, not on his shortcomings.
If I Had the Strength, I’d Stand Up For You!
There was a boy who studied in a Yeshivah (school for Talmud studies) in Bnei Brak, who had to see a dentist in Tel Aviv. During his trip, he was faced with immodest sights which are forbidden to look at. When he returned to Bnei Brak, he was feeling very down about himself, because he did not control himself the whole time. His friend, who saw how despondent he was, suggested that they go the Steipler, one of the leading rabbis of that time, to seek his council.
When they told the Steipler why they had come, he asked the boy, “Were there any instances during your trip in which you succeeded in guarding your eyes from inappropriate sights?” The boy replied in the affirmative. The Steipler then said, “I am not exaggerating and I am not lying. If I had the strength, I would stand up for you. Each time you did control yourself you achieved a very great mitzvah. You will be punished for the times you failed, but every time you resisted the Yetzer Hara (Evil Inclination), you amended the past and rose to an extremely high level. The main thing is to go to battle and keep on fighting the war.”
Repent and Face Forward!
Don’t beat yourself up over your failures, even your sins. These notions come from the Yetzer Hara to get a person down and discouraged from accomplishing more. This is the gift of a new day. Every day is an opportunity to start anew. Certainly, one should do introspection and contemplate his deeds. Everyone must always examine their ways to see what they can improve. A person must also regret the wrong things he did and repent.
But, as we learn from Parshat Vayigash, don’t get bogged down over the past and languish in feelings of guilt. A person often has difficulty refraining from thinking about the things he did wrong. He feels hypocritical to just ignore the past, and he has an urge to rehash his mistakes. But doing so is not constructive. It prevents further spiritual growth and accomplishments. Instead, be happy with the good things you accomplished so far, and focus on what you can accomplish going forward.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
