Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a Match…
A Roman matron asked R’ Yosi ben Chalafta (Bereishit Rabbah 68:4), “Since He created the world what is God busy doing?” He answered that He is making matches, saying “This woman for that man…” The woman figured this was easy to do and she matched up a bunch of men and women randomly which resulted in chaos and people showed up the next morning with black eyes and broken arms, etc. saying, “I don’t want her/him.”
A Well-Balanced World
However, it’s not just human beings that are matched up. Hashem makes everything balanced with its perfect match. It’s basically Newton’s third law of motion, which the Torah spoke about millennia before he codified them in the 1600’s. Everything in the world has an equal and opposite force. Everything remains balanced.
This struck me one Shabbos morning as I was making myself a cup of tea. I poured the water into a cup and then added the honey. The tea would come afterwards, from the tea essence I had prepared previously. As I squeezed the honey, I noted the air bubbles entering through the cap and rising up into the plastic bottle. When they did, more honey came out and it was easier to squeeze the bottle.
“Zeh le’umas zeh asa Elokim,” is what came to mind, Hashem ensures everything has an opposing force which keeps it in place. Take gravity for example. When you throw a ball up, gravity brings it back down to earth. Without that, the ball would keep going forever. When you push down the pedal of a bicycle, the other one comes up. Once you have that, you can push down on the other pedal and move forward.
A Match Made for Balance
How about in relationships? Quite often one spouse will be a spender and the other a saver. Hashem puts them together so they don’t run out of money or become extreme misers. Sometimes one parent is hot-tempered and the other is calmer. The children learn that one doesn’t have to get excited about everything. If both parents got angry all the time, the children would likely do so as well, and you’d be breeding it. Therefore, a balance is put in place.
To Keep You in Check
People who think they are right all the time can easily be making mistakes. They actually need some resistance in order to make them think and double check themselves. Sometimes it’s resistance to an idea of theirs at work, and sometimes it’s a differing opinion by someone whose opinion matters to them, but nearly always they will find something opposing them. But they should not get upset about this.
They have to remember that this entire world is a balancing act. We have to temper our desires with the recognition of what we ought to be doing. Just as we tell young children, that they can’t eat ice cream because then they won’t eat dinner properly, we can’t always have our way. Especially if it means we won’t be fulfilling the things we should be fulfilling.
Think Before You Snooze (or Schmooze!)
Staying in bed longer in the morning may sound very wonderful, but if we are missing tefillah b’tzibbur (praying with the required quorum of ten men [a minyan]), it’s not that great. Even if you are not going to miss prayer with a minyan, you have to think about what you might be missing. “Will I be starting my day later and giving up something important?”
If I want to make a joke at someone’s expense, I have to take into consideration their hurt feelings. Or maybe the location I am in at the moment. Is it a place where the decorum is such that people should not be speaking? That’s often the case, like when we’re at shul on Shabbos. It’s a long davening, but you came to speak to Hashem and now you’re choosing something else?
Resistance Means You’re Onto Something Big
The good news is that Hashem helps us by constantly creating opposing forces. So, for example, if someone asks me for a favor and it’s going to take some effort on my part, I also understand that the benefit and reward for doing the favor will be commensurate with the effort needed to do that for them.
In fact, we can also judge the benefit of an act by the amount of resistance there is to it. The more the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination) pushes us away from doing something, the more we recognize it must be important and meaningful. Ever see the way people almost come to blows about saying Tachanun (a supplication prayer omitted on certain holidays) on possibly potential minor holidays? Clearly there’s something to Tachanun the Satan doesn’t want us to gain from.
Hold onto Your Balance!
And one more thing: The people who feel the most attacked by their evil inclinations should not feel extremely low. Instead, they should recognize that they must, in fact, be truly holy and special. Otherwise, he would not be attacking them so strongly. That ought to be a great aid in resisting the Yetzer Hara’s attacks, knowing he’s just trying to make us lose our balance.
By Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz
Rabbi Gewirtz (Operation Inspiration) welcomes comments and feedback. Write to him at info@JewishSpeechWriter.com to share your thoughts. You never know when you may be the lamp that enlightens someone else.
