If we believe that all bad events come from a righteous God and are for our good, is feeling bad and upset a lack of faith in Hashem (God)?
Rabbi Chaim Mintz responds:
Opposite Feelings Simultaneously
There is nothing wrong with feeling pain and sadness when difficulties enter our lives, and on the contrary, these feelings are part of what brings atonement. In fact, if we did not feel any pain, there would be no point in Hashem afflicting us with pain, to awaken us to change our ways. However, at the same time, one should have an overwhelming feeling of serenity, trusting Hashem that this is all for our ultimate good.
Having such conflicting emotions simultaneously may sound impossible, but it can be done. A vivid example of this is when someone is sick and has to take a bitter medicine that will save his life. The person will barely notice the unpleasant taste, realizing that this is saving his life. The Talmud (Berachot 59b) discusses this very situation. A child who hears the news that his millionaire father died, on the one hand is sad that his father died, but on the other hand is happy about the wealth he has inherited. Because of these mixed emotions, he recites two blessings, one for the good news and one for the bad.
This Too Shall Pass
In addition, any sadness or pain can only be temporary. When a parent dies, halachah (Jewish Law) dictates that the children mourn for a year. After that time period is over they must leave their mourning behind. It is as if God is telling them, “Get back to life! You’re not more merciful than I am, and I took this the person’s soul for a good reason.” Of course they will miss the parent who is gone, but they have to work to switch their thoughts from sadness to happiness, secure with the knowledge that the deceased is now enjoying his/her reward in Heaven.
In short: One should feel pain, which is part of what brings atonement. At the same time, one should trust in Hashem that this is all for our ultimate good.
