Who are we Fooling?
Yom Kippur, the most awesome day of the year, arouses great trepidation. How do we approach this great day, a day of teshuvah (repentance) and forgiveness? What should be our goal, and how do we take proper advantage of this day? Surely, merely attending synagogue and reciting prayers is not all that it is about. Yom Kippur is very serious business, and requires preparation. At the same time, we can say the right words and mean well, but we know that we are far from perfect, and that we will continue to make mistakes after Yom Kippur. So who are we fooling? What is it that God truly expects from us? What is it that we seek to accomplish on this most holy day?
To Restore God’s Interest
Rabbeinu Yonah writes a frightening concept. He writes (Sha’arei Teshuvah 1:42) that one who does teshuvah should pray for God to restore His interest in him. Because one can do teshuvah, earn atonement and be redeemed from all retribution, yet God has lost interest in His relationship with him.
This is what we seek. The ultimate goal is to gain and restore God’s desire in us. We want to repair the damage our sins have caused and restore our relationship with God. And although we may not deserve it, we should implore God to regain His interest in us, for there is no greater success in life than this.
But how do we get there? After all, we have gone astray and are not in a position to be committed to be anywhere near the place we should ideally be. What can we do that God should have reason for us to gain favor in His Eyes?
Desire God and Know Him as Our King
We need to desire God. We need to express our sincere desire in coming close to Him and returning to Him. We need to express our longing for Him and deepen our connection to Him on our end. How do we accomplish this?
Rabbi Avigdor Miller gives us practical guidance. Rabbi Miller points out that in the Shemoneh Esrei prayer, there are two blessings which are unique. The only two blessings which refer to God as our Father and King are the blessings of repentance and forgiveness. Rabbi Miller explains that this is because the key to teshuvah and forgiveness by God lies in reinforcing these attitudes. God is not just a word we use, and teshuvah is not a matter of submitting an acquittal application.
Teshuvah is about developing our recognition of our relationship with God in two aspects. The first is that God is our most loving Father who is constantly looking out for us, and by sinning, we have betrayed Him. We must work on feeling remorseful over disappointing Him and failing to be loyal in our relationship as His beloved children, and seek with earnest to restore the closeness we lost.
The other aspect is that God is a King in the sense that He conducts the world with complete judgment. God is constantly meting out repercussions for people’s misdeeds, and when we sinned, we rebelled, undermining His rulership. We acted foolishly and with disrespect by ignoring the fact that we are under God’s jurisdiction. We must restore our reverence to God and His control by instilling in ourselves the awareness that God is our King. By working on our attitude on our end, we earn God’s interest in us being restored.
But that’s the Great Thing about Religion!
I was once in the bank, and I overheard a fellow relating to the teller that he needed the cash he was withdrawing for an immoral club he would be attending. He then continued telling the teller, “I’m a sinner. But that’s the great thing about religion! Every Sunday I go to church for a couple of hours, I confess to the priest and I’m forgiven!” I just stood there, astonished, marveling to myself, “Is this guy for real? Is he really so gullible? Does he seriously think that’s how God works? This person looked like he was in his senior years. Does he think God is a joke? You think going to church gives you a license to do whatever you want? You think God has no problem with you violating His will as long as you do your dues by attending church afterwards and submitting a confession?”
The Real Goal: Reconnecting to God
Sometimes, we, too, make this mistake to some extent. We become focused on the prayers and the practical steps of teshuvah, but we forget what teshuvah is really about. It’s about reconnecting to our Father and King in Heaven with loyalty. It’s about expressing and feeling how we truly care about Him and being close to Him. The more we succeed in reshaping our attitude, by coming forth with greater love, reverence and yearning, the more God will in turn desire us, and the more successful our Yom Kippur will be.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
