My God, Why have You Forsaken Me?!
When Esther approached the inner chambers to stand before Achashveirosh, it was after three days of fasting and prayer. The chachamim (Torah sages) teach us that through her spiritual efforts during this time, she was granted the great level of spirituality referred to as Ruach Hakodesh (lit. Holy Spirit) (Megillah 15a, see Manot Halevi).
However, as soon as she entered the palace chambers, the Ruach Hakodesh abruptly ceased.[1] In her distress, Esther cried out to Hashem, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?!” as she struggled to understand why she had been plunged into darkness (Megillah 15b).[2] This raises the question: why did Hashem arrange for Esther to experience Ruach Hakodesh for such a brief period? Why did Hashem cause that as soon as she received this Ruach Hakodesh, it would be taken away from her?!
Complete Compassion Beneath the Surface
We can answer based on the teachings of our Sages (Yalkut Shimoni, Yirmiyah 311) that one’s salvation can emerge from within their distress, one’s closeness to Hashem can arise from the distance they experience from Him, and that one can find light within the darkness itself.
Rav Yechezkel Sarna zt”l (Dalyot Yechezkel, Yirmiyah, p. 334. Also see Daat Torah, Devarim, p.103) explains that any anger and darkness that comes from Hashem is only what we perceive on the surface. However, within that darkness and distance lies the same desire, compassion, and closeness that Hashem expresses to us at other times. In other words, although it may not appear this way to us, Hashem is just as close to us during a time of the concealment of Hashem’s presence (hester panim), as He is during a time of revelation.
I was with You All Along
This, perhaps, is the lesson that Hashem wanted to teach Esther, and all of us as well. It is true that she reached a level that merited Ruach Hakodesh. However, Hashem immediately removed the open presence of Hashem from Esther to show her that, despite the concealment of Hashem that she was now experiencing, she should realize that He was with her just the same as when she had the open Divine revelation.
The miracle of Purim needed to come through this concealment, as the Sages relate, whether because of bowing to the idol during the times of Nevuchadnetzar, or due to their partaking in the feast of Achashveirosh. But Hashem wanted Esther and all of Klal Yisrael (the nation of Israel) to realize that this was merely on the surface. In truth, He was just as close to them as when He would appear openly close to them. Therefore, while she experienced such great spiritual levels in one moment, shortly afterwards she felt nothing more than darkness. This sudden contrast highlighted the fact that her relationship with Hashem throughout these two situations remained the same.
Yes, it was true that Esther now had what to aspire for; to gain a level of Ruach Hakodesh once again. Yet, Hashem wanted her to know that regardless of what she seemed to be experiencing, He was still by her side in the very same way as before!
Whether in Kindness or Judgement, I will Sing to You
Indeed, this is a very important lesson for us to take to heart. There might be times when we feel a special closeness to Hashem, while at other times, we might feel distant from Him. We might go about our daily routine feeling somewhat spiritually detached. Yet, we must realize that this is all only on the surface. Because, in truth, Hashem is just as close, right there by our side, at all times, regardless of our feelings. Therefore, we should always call out to Him, despite how we are feeling.
As the Midrash states based on a pasuk in Tehillim (101:1): Rav Hunah said in the name of Rav Acha, whether it is in a situation of kindness, I will sing to You, or whether it is in a state of judgment, I will also sing to You. Whether it is this way or that, I will continue to sing to You!
[1] The Manot Halevi states that the Shechinah, which was removed from Esther, refers to the Ruach Hakodesh that she had received earlier.
[2] The Maharsha explains that the presence of avodah zarah (idols) in the palace chambers would have caused the Ruach Hakodesh to be removed from Esther only if she had chosen to go there. However, as we know, it was entirely necessary for her to appear before Achashveirosh, which meant she had no choice but to pass through the area containing avodah zarah.
By Rabbi Usher Smith
The Sefer “Passion for Perfection” by this author is now available on Amazon https://a.co/d/ectlblM.
