Confounding Criticism
In this week’s Torah reading, Yitro (Jethro), the father-in-law of Moshe (Moses), joins the Jews in the desert. The following day, after Yitro enters the camp of the Jews, Yitro criticizes Moshe. Yitro told Moshe that it is disrespectful to have the Jews wait in long lines every day to ask him Torah questions, and he should implement a different system.
Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz (in Da’at Torah) notes the fact that such behavior would seem to be quite bizarre. Yitro was a newcomer, who just came the day prior, and certainly had a lot to learn about the ways of the Jewish people. But no sooner did he already find it his business to offer criticism, and not just to anyone, but to the greatest prophet and leader of the Jewish people, about the way he was leading the people! One would have expected such a person to keep his thoughts to himself, at least for some time. What pushed Yitro to get involved in a matter which was none of his business and offer his two cents?
Torah Criticism: And Invaluable Tool
Says Rabbi Levovitz, Torah criticism is very different than typical criticism. Typically, criticism is a hurtful act. People criticize others in a demeaning way, for whatever reason, with selfish motivations, at the expense of the one they are criticizing. But there is another type of criticism. When you see something is wrong and you so badly want to help the other person improve, and the criticism is viewed this way by the one being criticized as well, it is gold. Such criticism is extremely valuable and honorable, and is befitting to be given to Moshe by a newcomer as well.
Criticism, when given properly, is invaluable. When you offer criticism with pure intentions, in a manner in which it will be accepted by the recipient, you have performed a priceless Mitzvah (good deed)!
Reprimander’s Reward
The Chovot Halevavot makes a fascinating statement. Says the Chovot Halevavot, (gate 10 chapter 6), even if one were to perfect his character to a very high degree, close to the level of a prophet, his merits would not be as great as the merits of one who causes others to improve. When one causes others to improve, whether with criticism, encouragement or other means, his merits become continuously multiplied. Because when one influences others to improve and earn greater merits, he constantly earns new merits for being the cause of it. Any time a new merit is earned, even indirectly, because of your influence, you earn more merits for yourself.
Rebuke and Remorse: Rabbi Lopian’s Wisdom
Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian once rebuked a person harshly for something he did wrong. However, Rabbi Lopian saw that the person wasn’t taking his words to heart, and the rebuke was not having any influence upon him. Rabbi Lopian immediately began apologizing profusely to that person.
The man was greatly surprised by the apology of Rabbi Lopian, and Rabbi Lopian explained himself, “Ordinarily, when one is criticized, it is not uncommon for him to feel slighted. But when the person giving the criticism is doing so for the greater benefit of the one he is rebuking, it is permissible to do so for this purpose, and it is worthwhile for the recipient. However, since I see that you are not receptive to my criticism, and my words are not providing any benefit to you, I must ask you for forgiveness for the discomfort I caused you.”
When the man heard Rabbi Lopian’s perspective, he was so touched by the way Rabbi Lopian cared about him, and was influenced to improve in a most powerful manner.
The Golden Opportunity of Constructive Criticism
Good criticism is gold. Proper criticism yields great eternal profits. Sometimes we feel lazy to correct others. Sometimes, even when we know that our criticism will be appreciated, we prefer to avoid the discomfort involved, and remain silent. But who can afford to give up such a golden opportunity? With just one rebuke, you can earn eternal merits for any improvement which will occur in the future as a result of your influence! It is incumbent upon us, for our own sake, to seek out opportunities to influence others, even if it’s through uncomfortable, but constructive, criticism. When utilized properly, criticism can achieve greatness which is impossible to reach otherwise.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
