Avraham’s Search for a Burial Plot
In this week’s Torah reading, Avraham (Abraham) was searching for a suitable burial plot for his deceased wife, Sara. He took interest in a plot which belonged to Efron, and requested to have it sold to him. Efron initially offered the plot to Avraham, who was famous as a great man, free of charge. However, Avraham countered that he wished to pay. When the Torah mentions the payment, the Torah writes Efron’s name with a letter missing. Rashi says the reason for this is because the Torah is hinting to a deficiency in Efron’s character which came to light in this transaction. While Efron initially offered the plot for free, in the end, he charged an exorbitant amount. He made big offers, but did nothing of the sort.
The Way of the Wicked vs. the Righteous
Avos D’rebbi Nosson makes mention of this behavior and says that this is the way of the wicked – to promise a lot but do nothing. While on the other hand, the way of the righteous is to commit to very little, but to actually perform a lot. Avos D’rebbi Nosson contrasts Avraham’s behavior to the behavior of Efron. When the Torah describes Avraham greeting three guests, the Torah says that Avraham offered them merely a loaf of bread. But in the end, he served them three prepared oxen and a large amount of baked goods. This is an example of the way of the righteous.
The Danger of Freely Making Commitments
It’s easy to talk. But making offers and commitments freely is dangerous. Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz explains (Da’as Torah, Parshas Vayera), that when one talks about great things he is offering or committing to do, he is likely creating for himself an illusion. By talking a lot about good deeds, he is satisfying his conscious, which compels him to do good, without any sincere intention of ever fulfilling his promises. He is luring himself into a trap of feeling righteous while devoid of any actual deeds of value. On the other hand, the righteous stay away from such potential traps, and are focused on putting their good will into real action.
Cheap Words vs. Meaningful Commitments
For some people, words are cheap, and they have no problem using them freely, making nice promises and offers. Their commitments are detached from reality, and talking big leaves them with a good feeling of righteousness. To the righteous, on the other hand, words have great meaning. Commitments are real and binding. Making offers places responsibility upon them to make sure they live up to them. In order to not risk making an offer they cannot keep, and to avoid the satisfaction of commitment alone, they make sure to promise very little. Instead, their energy is focused on actually producing the good deeds they desire to do, to the best of their ability.
Examples of True Greatness
We have all experienced times where people made offers to help, but when it came down to delivering, they started hemming and hawing about why they are not available to do so. On the other hand, truly great people do what they can without any fanfare. As Rabbi Levovitz attests (ibid), the Chofetz Chaim would not engage in discussion regarding his plans to help someone. When someone needed his assistance, he didn’t bother making any announcements about his intentions, he just went ahead and did what needed to be done.
The Quiet Kindness of Rabbi Dovid Feinstein
Rabbi Dovid Feinstein was a quiet person by nature. If he saw an opportunity to help someone, he forged ahead without finding it necessary to make mention of it. One time, there was someone in the study hall who was looking for a particular book, and he asked around if anyone had it, but no one did. This person did not ask Rabbi Feinstein about the book, but Rabbi Feinstein had overheard him asking others about it. The following day, without any prior discussion, Rabbi Feinstein approached him with the book in hand, offering to lend it to him.
The Correct Path: Minimal Words, Maximum Actions
The desire to promise great things can be very tempting. In fact, it is most likely actually coming from a genuine desire to help and do good deeds. But we must keep in mind that this is not the way of the righteous. The correct way in life is to verbally express minimal commitment, while focusing on putting our desire to help and do good into real action.
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
