A Miraculous Change of Heart
In this week’s Torah reading, Parshat Bo, prior to the Jews being liberated, the Torah relates a surprising fact. The Torah tells us (Shemot 11:3,12:36) that the Jews found favor in the eyes of the Egyptians! This is nothing short of a wonder of wonders. The entire land of Egypt had just experienced horrifying plagues, time and time again, from which they suffered untold pain and anguish. All this great suffering was because of the Jews! How in the world could an Egyptian have even the slightest affinity to a Jew?
Favor Is in God’s Hands
The answer to this lies in the words of the verses themselves. The Torah says that it was God who put favor of the Jews in the eyes of the Egyptians. The Steipler Gaon writes (Chayei Olam, chapter 15) that this was intended to teach us a great lesson; finding favor in the eyes of others is in the hands of God! The Egyptians despised the Jews, as the Torah states previously. The Jews were their slaves, and they looked down at the Jews. They suffered greatly because of the Jews. The only way it is possible for the Jews to have found favor in the eyes of the Egyptians is because this aspect of life is also only in the hands of God. Whether we will be liked by someone or not is completely in the Hands of God, and when God decrees, a person can become fond of a person whom he had loathed just a short time previously.
The Illusion of Human Approval
One element which greatly controls our lives is peer pressure. A primary concern involved in many decisions in life is how we will be viewed by others. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we want to conform to what will make us find favor in the eyes of those surrounding us. We crave their approval, and are terrified of being looked down on. People will do things that they know are wrong, in order to find favor in the eyes of others.
But this is a mistake. We have no control over what others will really think of us. Only God has control over this, and we can be sure that transgressing God’s will will not motivate God to have us be liked by our peers. The only one we have true control over impressing – is God! This is the only One whose opinion and approval we should be concerned about. What will God think of me? What can I do to find favor in His Eyes?
Living to Please the Creator
The one we ought to please the most in this world is God. The Chovot Halevavot says (gate 3 chapter 5) that one should run to serve God with joy, out of love, with yearning to find favor in the Eyes of God. One should be consumed with concern over God being happy with him, and be afraid of acting in a way that will disappoint God. A servant of God should have at the forefront of his mind, in all aspects of his life, with every move, what can he do to please God? It is God’s opinion of him which should concern him, not the opinion of others.
Choosing Eternal Honor Over Temporary Shame
The Talmud (Kiddushin 81a) relates a fascinating story. Rabbi Amram Chasida had a woman staying in his house for some time. In order to avoid transgressing the prohibition of being secluded with a woman, when he was with her alone in the house, the woman was placed on the second floor, which was only accessible by ladder, and the ladder was removed from the house.
However, at a certain point, Rabbi Amram was unintentionally enticed by the woman. His desire became so strong, that he managed to move a ladder, which was so heavy that it ordinarily required the effort of multiple people to be moved, to the opening in the ceiling. When he was halfway up the ladder, he realized he had to do something to save himself from sin. In a desperate measure to stop himself, he yelled, “Fire! Fire!”
His students and colleagues who were in the vicinity ran to the house to extinguish the flames. But they were quite surprised with what they saw when they entered. When they saw what was really going on, they complained to Rabbi Amram that he embarrassed them with the scene they beheld. Rabbi Amram Chasida responded, “Better to be embarrassed in This world than to be embarrassed in the Next World!”
Whose Approval Matters Most?
Everyone is always concerned about other people’s opinions of themselves. Did it enter your mind to think about what God might think of you? Did it ever concern you to consider what God’s opinion will be of you based on your behavior? But this is the most important opinion; the one that truly counts. From time to time, we ought to think to ourselves, “What does God think of me?” It’s human nature to care a great deal about the opinion of others and to try to impress them. Instead of seeking the approval of mere mortals, we should channel this drive into thinking, “What can I do to make God pleased with me?”
By Rabbi Yitzchok Aryeh Strimber torah4every1@gmail.com
